with your own penis?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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