My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He's on the porch naked. Help.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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