I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
