one might say we're banned from that church
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
