duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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