I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
