I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
