Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
