Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
