Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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