His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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