Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
