This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
