Already got asked if we're dating
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
