Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
