Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
