brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Please, let me fuck your mom
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
