nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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