All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
