I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
