smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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