nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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