my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
