Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
