He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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