it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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