My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
