There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Randomize
