I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
