think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
