I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
