For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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