Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me

Fav 3 1074 1581
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(269): View more from Michigan

I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.

Fav 10 872 2492
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(952): View more from Minnesota

Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me

Fav 29 5295 2165
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(513): View more from Ohio

They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.

Fav 8 4046 1007
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(205): View more from Alabama

Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.

Fav 26 7996 1892
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(785): View more from Kansas

In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?

Fav 6 1503 3735
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(503): View more from Oregon

I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.

Fav 5 1239 2931
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(973): View more from New Jersey

You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette

Fav 1 1462 702
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(301): View more from Maryland

Thanks for the hospitality last night.

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

You mean sex?

(301): View more from Maryland

Yes....hospitality.

Fav 0 75 1
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