Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
