He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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