Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
