Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
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