At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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