i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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