everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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