I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
