we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i love accidental penises.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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