4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
