Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I've blown a few things in my day
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
