We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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