So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
