Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
