I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
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