jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
