he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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