Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
