take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Randomize
