i think my tv is drunk
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
