you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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